I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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