This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
