I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
