I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
