That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
