Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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