i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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