I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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