Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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