life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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