were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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