Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
