i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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