help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Text me some of your sweat
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
