Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
