I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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