I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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