the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
