it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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