Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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