Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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