i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
