It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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