dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
