too bad you live with your parents still
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
