sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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