remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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