I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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