its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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