You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
