In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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