i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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