My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
