If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
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Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
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