I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
