I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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