Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize