i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
