Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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