He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
