Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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