some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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