I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i think im in europe. pls send help
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
