While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
