PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
