Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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