Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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