Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
