What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
