I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
