He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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