It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize