What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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