Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize