So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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