Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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