My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
