guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just google imaged poop.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
