around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
