he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
