Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
