The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
