I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize