can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
