Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
